Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My ATM looks so different sober.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
