If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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