we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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