I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
