This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
