just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
