How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
