some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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