Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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