yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
