remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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