And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize