Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
