Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
