Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
