remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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