Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
