dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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