i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
