So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just gargled with NyQuil
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
