I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
