I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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