i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
