I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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