tonight lets celebrate not being married
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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