You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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