what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My breasts were aching with rage.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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