I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize