i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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