this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize