And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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