Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize