remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
