I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
