It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
