i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Less talking, more tequila
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
