Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize