im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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