Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
