belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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