I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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