did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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