I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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