dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You pole danced in your parka.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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