you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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