you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize