Me. At least after what I've been through.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You can't just leave with hair like that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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