how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
