I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
