Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
