I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
