She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's never too late to be topless.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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