you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
