3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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