we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
