I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
