Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
