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seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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