Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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