I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
