I cut my penus on the lid.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
