After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
