I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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