4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
